Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Rita Cosby.... HA!
If Lawyers are ambulance chasers.... what are Journalists?
Caption contest is here.
Revealed! Dave at Garfield Ridge.....
.... is a pretty cool Dude. Not only did he invite me to go watch his Washington Nationals get severly violated by the Phillies, he bought the beer. Yes, that's right, I know who Dave really is. On a coolness scale, Dave ranks just under Chuck Norris.
Like Chuck Norris, Dave only uses his power for good
Can't thank him enough for the tour of West/East/North/South D.C. and the Beltway. Only took me 2 hours to travel 20 miles without traffic. (Mapquest can kiss my ass)
Dave, just call me Inigo Montoya. I am forever indebted to you.
Oh, and ladies, you don't know what you're missing. Make sure you head on over to his blog and give him a little sugar.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Squadron Officer School es No Mas!
I've completed SOS finally, so after tomorrow's graduation ceremony I will officially be a (fill in the blank). Not sure what I am now. Maybe a more proficient Captain. Yes, I'm now smarter on different methods of leadership, followership, Air Force Doctrine, and BS (Barbara Streisand).
The highlight of my final day was getting to ask a question to retired General Chuck Horner, the man who spearheaded and commanded the massive air campaign of Desert Storm. Cool guy, but he choked on the answer. I basically asked him what he thought the Air Force has done right and what it has done wrong throughout the GWOT.
His response.... "The F-22 cost a lot of money."
Oh well, it was worth a shot.
Most lectures and lessons here at SOS were 50/50. They either hit or missed. The best was a brief from a AC-130 Gunship pilot and how he had to disobey direct orders in order to save Army soldiers from a massive insurgent attack. Moral of the story is that there are good ways and bad ways to disobey an order... you'd better know how to do it the legal way.
As for sporting events here at SOS, we were forced (at gunpoint) to play a really sad game called flickerball. The only good thing about it was the fact that I got to design our team jerseys. Let me tell you that nothing beats putting David Hasselhoff on your team's uniform. It intimidated the other teams (or just caused them to laugh uncontrollably), and we did pretty well out on the field.
Last but not least, my flight members kicked ass. Whereas most flights dealt with morons who butted heads and could never agree on anything, our flight could have easily been mistaken for the Jamaican bobsled team. We all got along, there were no idiots trying to take charge, and we were 100% laid back and relaxed. Almost too relaxed, but we got the job done and did very well compared to most other flights. Your team makes or breaks the SOS experience, and my team was spot on.
That's it. Time to wash the clothes, pack the bags, and drive on back to Ohio after graduation tomorrow morning. Was it worth it? I guess so. I did learn some new things, and I think I'm a better leader because of it. Was it worth being away from the family? Not at all.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
Here's To You... Now Kiss My Ass!
...To the test writers at the USAF Squadron Officer School.... After all, when you surpass your all time test failure rate by over 150% yet you don't think that maybe you screwed up and wrote a terrible test. (I passed, but a record number of folks didn't because the test was total BS)
...To Dave at Garfield Ridge who made us think he ended his blog.
...To the Chamberlain-esq morons in this world who still think that 'cease fires' with blood thirsty terrorist organizations lead to peace.
...To Iranian President Ahmadinejad who will soon personally oversee the destruction of his country and most of the middle east because of his insistance on obtainging a nuclear weapon.
...To non-military people who try to compare the Muslim-instigated civil war in Iraq with the Maoist revolution in Vietnam.
...To the City of Montgomery Alabama for killing their economy with this stupid 10% sales tax on everything.
...To Fascists, Fans of Fascism (Ms. Sheehan), and religious leaders that ignore Fascist take-overs of their religion.
...To the language expert here at Maxwell AFB who failed to laugh when an audience member answered a question about Arab languages with, 'Dirka Dirka, Mohammad Jihad.'
...To the guys at the opening night of 'Snakes on the Plan' dressed up as an airplane and a snake.
and finally... To the 'Bravo' network for trying to show an edited, safe for kids version of 'Pulp Fiction.'
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Garfield Ridge - The End of an Era
My favorite blogger, Dave at Garfield Ridge, is putting away his keyboard and calling it a day. Although I completely understand why, I'm still bummed. He was one of the best out there.
Thanks for keeping it real Dave.
Feel free to borrow my favorite tombstone to cap off your blog, and have a drink on me.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Call Samuel L. Jackson! The Caterpillers Are Coming!!!
Nope. Definitely not this one.
"Call the Mother F'n Terminex dudes NOW! There's Caterpillers Everywhere!"
Screw 'Snakes on a Plane.' This is what happens when Caterpillars (da larverna) invade your freak'n town. I'd be running out of there faster than Michael Jackson chasing a school bus. I've seen enough Twighlight Zone episodes where crap like that crawls into your ears and lays eggs.
Time to move.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Hillary's Bust On Display at the NY Museum of Sex
Caught this off of Drudge, and all I can really say is THANK GOD for the Uniform Code of Military Justice. You see, as a member of the Armed Forces I am not allowed to besmirch a member of Congress. Technically any comment I make would be about the 'statue' and not about Mrs. Clinton, but still... I'm so glad I can't express to you my true feelings.
After all, how do you type the sound you make after you repeatedly vomit in your mouth? I couldn't accurately type that if my life depended on it.
Anyways, captions are free game. This is a public site, so have at it. What caption would you write for this cold, (f)rigid, emotionless bust of our esteemed, wonderful, and downright hot junior Senator from New York.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Chinese Anger Bars - My Kind of Establishment
(BBC) A bar in eastern China has come up with a novel way of attracting clients - they are allowed to beat up the staff. The Rising Sun Anger Release Bar in Nanjing lets customers smash glasses, rant and even hit specially trained workers, state media reported.
The owner, Wu Gong, told China Daily that he was inspired to open the bar by his experiences as a migrant worker. Most of his customers were women working in the service or entertainment industries, he said.
The bar employs 20 men who have been given protective gear and physical training to prepare them for the job. -
I'm seriously going to make China my next vaction destination. These Los Angeles area Vietnamese joints could learn a thing or two from the Chinese place. They could make a fortune out on the West Coast catering to the Gang Bangers and Angry Yuppies.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
What Caused Castro's Intestinal Bleeding?
Very few know the cause of Fidel Castro's intestinal bleeding, but I think we all know that his surgery is going to be a waste of time once these two get their hands on him.
Time to get greased and liquored up baby. Our new play toy is on his way.